


Back to December

by marksbffie



Category: NCT
Genre: Angst, College, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-24 01:34:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15619554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marksbffie/pseuds/marksbffie
Summary: Mark and Renjun’s relationship has been blooming for four years but what happens when Renjun gets in a car accident and Mark has to start his adult life without him?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually a markno (mark & jeno) fic but jeno appears later in the story <3 also i’m really really sorry if there’s spelling errors or grammar errors :( + this is my first actual fully writing fic so i’m sorry if this turns out terrible

Mark and Renjun never really fought but they are now. It was a big one too. Mark was a senior this year and was going to be moving on to college without his boyfriend of four years. It was scary for both of them but Renjun was taking it harder than Mark expected. 

Yesterday when Mark walked through the 6 inches of snow all the way to the red haired boy’s house he was anticipating a celebration. With his acceptance letter in his left hand, he knocked on the door. Renjun’s mom answered, no surprise to Mark. Renjun had a thing for video games and spent most of his Saturdays in the basement munching on cheeto puffs and playing on his PS4. 

He climbed down the stairs of their dusty basement that no one cared to clean since the only person Renjun ever allowed in was himself and occasionally Mark. When I say occasionally I mean there was a period of three days when Renjun was trying to beat a round of some game and didn’t allow ANYONE to so much as pass the door leading to the stairs. 

“Oh my GOD, Chenle. My grandma with arthritis could outplay you. Can you please for the love of god help me out here?” 

Mark smiles to himself knowing his footsteps weren’t heard. Even though he wanted to be happy and say him going to college would be all good and no bad, he couldn’t. He was going to miss this loser a whole lot. 

“Tell Chenle I said his mom’s a hoe”, he says, startling the tiny boy sitting in the middle of the basement floor. 

“One second, Chenle. Smelly Lee is here.” 

Mark rolls his eyes as Renjun removes his headset, giving Mark his full attention. 

“Hey loser. What brings you here on this fine Saturday evening?” 

Mark brings the already tore open envelope out from hiding behind his back and hands it to Renjun. He fills with slight anxiety as the latter hesitantly opens the paper inside. He doesn’t have any idea how Jun will react but he’s hoping he’s happy for him. 

“You got in”, he whispers in a slightly broken voice. 

“Why do you seem upset?” he questions, frowning. 

“I’m not.” 

But Mark knows better. He can already see the tears forming in the other boy’s eyes and winces at the fake smile he plasters on his face. 

“Jun I know this is going to be hard for both of us. I’m scared too. I know we can work this out. I’ll video call you everyday, I promise. Please just be happy for me”, he responds, blinking back his own tears now. 

Renjun doesn’t respond. Instead, he puts his headset back on and unpauses the game in front of him. 

“So you’re just going to ignore me? You’re not even going to say you’re proud of me? Do you know how hard I worked for this? I know this is scary for you but for once can you PLEASE put your shit on hold and celebrate with me?” 

Mark is getting more mad than sad now. He waits for a response but Renjun doesn’t even look at him. Giving up, he darts out of the room and back up the stairs. He pushes past Renjun’s mom who immediately questions what happened when she notices Mark’s tears. 

___________________

Mark takes a deep breath as his finger hovers over the call button on his cellphone. Renjun has been ignoring him all day and he isn’t even the one at fault. He’s called several times today and he’s about to give up. All he can think about is this being the end. All of the four years with Renjun have been nothing but genuine happiness for Mark. Something feels final about this, though. Jun and Mark had minor fights before VERY rarely but it never felt final. He always knew in the back of his mind that they’d make up. 

Interrupting his thoughts, his ringtone for Jun sounds. His face brightens even though they’re fighting he’s so happy to hear from him after a day of not talking. 

Renjun: Can I come over? It’s important.  
Mark: Yes :( are you still mad? i’m sorry i miss you

Renjun doesn’t reply.

It’s been two hours since Mark sent the last text and he’s starting to worry. He decides if Renjun won’t come to him then he’ll go to him. 

He’s almost to Renjun’s house as he starts to see emergency lights. He’s about to continue on like normal and hope that the person is okay until he sees the car that’s crumpled at the base of a huge oak tree. 

Everything slows down except for his heart which is going 173 miles per hour in his chest. He hopes it’s not Renjun’s but who else has their anniversary date engraved under their right brake light? 

_______________

It’s been 3 hours since Renjun has been unconscious in the hospital and it’s also been 3 hours since Mark started crying and has yet to stop. Every single date and night spent cuddling while binge watching Catfish has been on repeat in his mind. 

Renjun’s mom had gone to talk to the doctor and it’s been way too long. Mark’s head hurts and just when he thinks he’s all cried out, Renjun’s mom comes back sobbing. 

“He’s gone”, she chokes out inbetween sobs. 

_________________


	2. Move-In Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter two!! Jeno makes an appearance ;)

It’s been 3 months and it still hurts the same. Everywhere Mark looked there was a reminder of him. The guilt he feels is overwhelming and he feels it every time he’s reminded of him.

But of course, life doesn’t stop for anyone. College is starting and today is Mark’s move in day. He’s not sure he’s going to be able to do this. Before the accident he was so excited to go to college and start a new chapter of his life. But now with the overwhelming guilt constantly on his mind, he doesn’t know how he’s going to maintain his grades or make friends. 

“Are you all packed?” his mom asks, snapping him out of his thoughts. 

The tone in her voice whenever she speaks to him hasn’t changed since the accident. Sympathy. He really wished she would stop tiptoeing around him like he’s some sort of bomb that’s about to go off if she speaks to him in any tone other than that soft, pitiful one. Maybe this is strange but he wants her to yell at him. He just wants everything to feel normal again. 

“Yeah”, he replies in a slightly annoyed tone. 

They have a seven hour drive to his university. That’s probably the scariest part to him. The fact that he’s so far away from home. If everything goes terribly wrong and he can’t do it by himself, he doesn’t have a way back to the familiar home he’s lived in his whole life. He isn’t ready for the changes that are coming. 

Trying to ignore his thoughts, he plugs in his earbuds and closes his eyes, hoping to fall asleep for most of the trip. 

Once his eyes flutter open again they’re parked in a huge parking lot. He silently sits up and scopes out the unfamiliar setting. There are a lot of kids that look older than him carrying boxes from cars. It finally hits him. They’re at the college. 

He’s interrupted by knocking at the drivers side window. When he looks at the source of the knocking, he’s met by a set of sparkling half-moon eyes and the brightest smile he’s ever seen. 

After rolling down the window he stares at the boy, questioning him with his eyes. 

“Hi! I’m Jeno. I was just checking on you, I know college is scary. Well. I don’t ACTUALLY know because it’s my first year too... but I’m sure it’ll be okay-“

“I’m fine, thanks.” 

And with that he rolls the window back up. The boy slightly pouts and starts digging in the back pocket of his jeans. Finally, he pulls out blue post-it notes and a pen. He scribbles something down on one of them and sticks it to the windshield. 

After the boy walks away, Mark unbuckles his seatbelt and opens his door to see what the post-it says. 

_You seemed annoyed by me but here’s my number just in case you’re feeling lonely during your first week of college :) 555-8729 -Jeno_

He smiles and stuffs the blue paper into the pocket of his hoodie. 

Now, where did his mom go?

________________

It turns out his mom was out mingling with other parents until he woke up. 

“Oh! You’re awake!” She beams a little too enthusiastically. 

She turns to the woman she was talking to.

“It was so nice talking to you! I think we should start unloading the car now. Have a nice day!” 

Mark wants to roll his eyes at her fake tone, but he doesn’t. Instead he starts heading back to the car, not bothering to wait for his mother. 

_______________

Finally, after 3 hours they have everything up to the dorm. His roommate hasn’t arrived yet and he’s hoping they don’t move in until tomorrow. 

It isn’t time to rest, though. They still have to unpack all the boxes and set up his side of the room. 

While they’re in the middle of setting up his bed, there’s a knock at the door. His mom gets out of her kneeling position and opens the door before he has the chance to stand up. Behind the door is the boy from earlier. 

They make eye contact and suddenly Mark is regretting being rude to him, considering they’ll be living together for however long Mark makes it in college.


	3. New Beginnings

“Hello!” the boy, still outside the doorframe beams, flashing that stupid smile. 

“Hi! I’m Mark’s mom,” his mom responded with the same fake tone she used earlier.

“I’m Jeno. I guess I’m _Mark’s_ roommate?”

Mark shoots him an unamused glare when Jeno makes eye contact. 

“Jeno may I speak to you in the hall? Mark had an incident 3 months-“ 

“Mom.” Mark interrupts her sentence knowing where it’s going. The last thing he wants is pity from his roommate. He has the opportunity for a fresh start here, there’s no way in hell he’s letting that chance be ruined. 

His mom takes the hint and pats Jeno on the shoulder.

“We should get back to it,” she says.

______________

After seven painstaking hours they finally have everything of Mark’s unpacked and placed where they want it. 

“Well. I guess it’s time for me to go,” Mark’s mom says dryly. 

He fakes a sigh. It’s not that he’s not going to miss his mom. He just can’t feel anything right now. He’s sure it will hit him later, but for now, he’s totally fine. 

After his mom leaves, it’s just him and Jeno.

“So _Mark_ did you keep my post-it?” Jeno asks, eyes sparkling. 

“Why do you keep saying my name like that?” Mark says, dodging his question.

“Because it’s cute! Now answer my question!”

“No.”

“W-what?”

“No. I didn’t keep your dumb post-it,” he lies through his teeth. He’s not sure why he does. 

“Oh,” Jeno sighs, “Well I guess it doesn’t matter now. Since we’re _roommates_.” 

“I’m going to sleep,” Mark says. He doesn’t have the energy to carry a conversation and Jeno is clearly not taking the hint. 

With that, he slips in his earbuds and plugs in his phone to the charger. He lets the music drift him to sleep. One of the songs he put in his last playlist for Renjun. The days ahead were going to be so hard without him. 

_I want you all to myself_  
_Don’t leave none for nobody else_  
_I am an animal with you_  
_No angels could beckon me back_

______________

The next day Mark is shaken awake and met with those dumb crescent moon eyes that accompany none other than Jeno’s smile. 

He gives him a dirty look. Mark doesn’t have to go to classes until tomorrow and he wants to sleep for as long as he can. 

“What do you want?” he says in an annoyed tone. 

“Well! I thought since we’re roommates and both freshman... we could explore campus together?”

Mark groans. He knows he’s been too rude to Jeno so he should do this with him. 

As he sits up he notices the blue post-it on the bed next to him. He didn’t bother to change into pajamas last night so it must’ve fallen out of his pocket during the night. 

“You DID keep it!!!!!” Jeno shouts, “I knew my charms were just too hard to resist.” 

Mark rolls his eyes. 

“When do you want to leave?” Mark asks, “You have to let me know so I can be ready by then.” 

“Well it’s 10:00 AM now so let’s leave at about.... 11:30,” Jeno responds.

Mark nods in response and gets up to start getting ready. 

“Are we getting something to eat?” Mark asks as he fixes his hair in the mirror. 

“Yeah, there’s a cafe a few blocks outside of campus if you’re up to go,” Jeno responds, “but I don’t have a car so unless you do, we’ll have to walk.” 

“That’s fine. I don’t have a car either,” Mark responds. 

Maybe Jeno isn’t so bad. Maybe. 

______________

The walk to the cafe was full of questions from Jeno. 

“What’s your major?”

“Music.”

“Oh, I’m a dance major so maybe our studios will be close to each other,” he says, smiling. 

“Yeah.” 

Jeno has a weird look on his face that’s making Mark anxious. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“Like what?”

“Like you’re trying to figure me out,” Mark says.

“Because I am. Most people like me a lot.. but you don’t seem to,” Jeno answers, slightly pouting. 

“It’s not that I don’t like you..” Mark starts, “It’s just that a lot of stuff has happened to me lately and I feel trapped in a cycle of constant bitterness that I can’t get out of,” he finishes. 

Mark feels like he said too much because the rest of the walk was silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song Mark listens to at the end of moving day is Animal by Troye Sivan!


	4. Chapter 4

After what seems like hours, they’re finally in front of the café. 

Mark can’t help but notice how red Jeno’s nose had gotten in the cold. He looks like rudolph if he was a human. Cute.

As soon as they push open the door the smell of coffee and pastries is overwhelming. The smell is a cozy one. Like home. Like the café Mark and Renjun always went to. Mark smiles to himself but at the same time he feels a longing in his chest. 

“You go find a table. I’ll order. What do you want?” Jeno asks, not realizing Mark isn’t paying attention.

“....Mark?” he says, slightly nudging him.

“Oh. Sorry. Yeah, I’ll have a hot chocolate and a lemon poppy seed muffin.”

“Weird combination but okay,” Jeno teases and walks off to the counter. 

Mark chooses a booth in the corner near a window. It’s fall now and the leaves are changing colors. He watches the leaves fall and tries not to think about how if Renjun were here he’d point out all the trees he thought were pretty. 

His thoughts are interrupted by Jeno sliding his hot chocolate and muffin to him. He slides into the seat across from him and smiles. 

There wasn’t much talking and Mark is thankful for that. He’s also thankful that it was a comfortable silence instead of awkward. 

“Where do you want to explore first?” Jeno asks as they leave the café. 

“First I want to find where my classes are.”

“Okay.” 

The air was cold around them and now Mark wished he brought a jacket instead of the thin hoodie he threw on this morning. 

After the café Mark was feeling especially drained and whiny. What he _really_ wanted to do right now was run back to their dorm and cry for the rest of the day.

Mark suddenly stopped walking alongside Jeno to close his eyes. He stayed like that until he felt his tears go away and his throat open up again. He let out a shaky breath and opened his eyes. 

“I’m sorry. We can go now,” he says to Jeno who stood silent next to him for the whole 30 seconds it took for him to calm down. 

Jeno smiles at him and pats his back. 

“I know this is scary for you and it is for me too but we’ll get through it.” 

Mark really wishes he could’ve heard those words from Renjun. 

______________

After a long day of finding classes and trying not to break down, Mark is back to the dorm. Jeno’s family lived nearby and he wanted to say goodbye to them before his first day of classes. Mark assumed he would be gone for a few hours. 

After taking his shoes off and laying on his bed he felt all the tears from earlier resurface. He felt himself breakdown and pulled the blankets up to his chin. His sobs were the only thing that could be heard in the silent dorm and he prayed to god that they couldn’t be heard in the hallway. 

___________

When Mark wakes up the next morning he has about three hours before his first class starts. 

He’s halfway through getting ready for the day when he realizes something is missing. Jeno isn’t there. 

As much as he’d like to deny it, he’s worried. The city they live in is a big one and a potentially dangerous one. 

After he finishes brushing his teeth he starts to dig for the post-it note he threw in the drawer of the stand next to his bed. After finding it he hesitates to call the number. After a few seconds he decides that he needs to. Jeno could be in danger.

The phone rings a few times before he hears Jeno say hello in a sleepy voice.

“Hi, it’s Mark. You didn’t come home and I wanted to make sure you were safe.”

Jeno smiles on the other end of the phone.

“I’m okay. I ended up staying at my parents’ house. I got done visiting kinda late.” 

“Oh. Our first class is in two and a half hours so make sure you give yourself enough time to get ready,” Mark says, finally letting go of some of the worry.

“I will. Thanks for checking on me.”


	5. Chapter 5

There’s still a few minutes before the class starts and Mark is feeling extra anxious. Everyone is talking and the roar that is caused by all of the voices is overwhelming him. He’s glad Jeno took the seat next to him because he doesn’t know anyone else there. 

He guesses Jeno can see his hand shaking because when he thinks it’s all too much, he feels his hand on his. He feels safe and that’s a big deal. He hasn’t felt like this since when Renjun was around. He feels Jeno squeeze his hand. They don’t make eye contact but Mark squeezes back.

Their moment is interrupted when the whole room goes quiet. The professor is at the front. Jeno lets go of Mark’s hand but as soon as their arms fall under the table he grabs it again. He wishes he could stay in this moment forever. It’s not the holding hands part, it’s the feeling calm and peaceful part. Mark misses the security that he felt before Renjun died.

The professor finally speaks after he sets his bag down.

“Good afternoon, everyone. Welcome, freshman.” 

He pauses to smile politely at the students.

“Freshman, I know this is your first day and it’s scary. I will assure you that we’re not doing any work today. The first day of this class will be dedicated to making sure you have all of the materials you need for the course.”

Mark is relieved.

_______________

After the professor dismisses them Mark and Jeno both stand up to collect their things. Jeno held Mark’s hand the whole time. 

After a few seconds they make eye contact and Jeno flashes him that _stupid_ smile of his. 

“Do you have plans after this?” Jeno asks abruptly.

“No, why?”

“Well,” Jeno pauses and Mark thinks he sees a faint blush on the other’s face, “I’m supposed to have dinner with my mom tonight and she wants to meet who I’m going to be staying with so... will you come? It okay if not I just thought since neither of us have anything to do..”

Mark freezes but then he remembers they’re _roommates_ and he decides it will be okay to go.

“Sure,” he says nonchalantly.

“Alright. I still have a few things I need to unpack at the dorm so you’ll have a little time to relax beforehand.”

Mark nods in response. He waits for Jeno to collect the rest of his things and they walk back to the dorm together.

_____________

When Mark gets back he has a missed call from Chenle. He hasn’t heard from him in a while so he calls back.

“Hello?” Chenle says when he answers after three rings.

“You called?” 

“Oh, yeah. Sorry if you were in class. I wanted to see how your first day went. I ran into your mom at the store today and she told me you had your first day of class today.”

“Honestly? I was really scared for today but my roommate is really... nice.”

He feels lame for describing Jeno as _nice_ but he doesn’t want Chenle to get the wrong idea. He was Renjun’s best friend.

“I’m glad you have a friend there, Mark. Renjun would be really happy for you.”

Mark feels comforted by his words. He likes to think that Renjun is still with him and he’s proud of him.

“Thanks, Lele. It means more thank you know.”

“It’s nothing.”

He can practically hear Chenle’s goofy smile through the phone.

“Alright. I’m gonna let you go. Jeno- my roommate- wants me to have dinner with him and his mom tonight. His mom doesn’t live too far from campus.”

“Okay, Mark. I hope you have a good time.”

“Alrighty. Bye.”

After he hangs up the phone he makes sure he looks presentable enough. Jeno said to be ready by five and it’s already ten minutes til.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeno exhibited big heart energy in this chapter :( he’s the best boy


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After I wrote this I realized that Mark’s mom would also be Mrs. Lee so just recognize that I’m talking about Jeno’s mom here ansjwj

After the 20 minute walk, Mark and Jeno are outside of Jeno’s house. Even though he’s meeting Jeno’s mom as just a friend, Mark is nervous. It seems like that’s all Mark is lately- nervous.

Jeno knocks on the door and ten seconds later a seemingly welcoming lady opens the door. She smiles warmly at Mark. 

“You must be Mark?” 

“Yes, that’s me,” Mark answers while flashing her his best smile.

After they meet each other, Mrs. Lee invites them inside.

“Jeno told me you two met before you even knew you were roommates,” Mrs. Lee exclaims while leading them into the living room. 

“Yeah! We did,” Mark responds. It feels a little too enthusiastic, but Mark wants to make a good impression.

After they get to the living room and get settled Mrs. Lee tells them dinner will be done shortly and disappears into the kitchen. 

“She likes you. Relax,” Jeno reassures Mark. 

“Do you want to watch a movie?” 

“Sure.”

“Alright. You get to choose since you’re the guest,” Jeno says, slightly pouting.

Mark walks over the the movie shelf where Jeno is standing. Jeno doesn’t come across as someone who watches a lot of movies but he’s sure there’s atleast 1,000 movies on the shelf. He scans the shelf until one catches his eye. Insidious. 

He starts to grab it off the shelf when he’s interrupted by Jeno.

“No no no. I CANNOT do horror movies.”

Mark smiles. 

“College dude Jeno can’t handle a few jump scares?” Mark teases.

“I can!” Jeno yells, contradicting himself.

“We don’t _have_ to watch it,” Mark says, raising his eyebrows.

“I can watch it,” Jeno says, crossing his arms and pouting.

“Okay but if you get scared I’m not comforting you,” Mark says.

Jeno pulls the case out of Mark’s hands and quickly puts it in the DVD player. 

__________

They’re halfway through the movie and Mark can see that Jeno is scared even without the fact that he’s moved progressively closer to him throughout the movie. 

Mark is anticipating a jump-scare soon and he’s wondering how Jeno will react. 

The music starts to build up like it does whenever there’s going to be a jump-scare and Mark sees Jeno go still. When the jump-scare is finally on the screen, Jeno yelps and wraps his arms around Mark while squeezing his eyes shut. 

After it’s over, Jeno opens his eyes and realizes the position they’re in. He immediately lets go and quickly slides back to _his_ side of the couch. Soon after, they’re interrupted by Jeno’s mom telling them it’s time for dinner. 

__________

The dinner table was _awkward_. Jeno was quiet for most of it which left Mark to answer all of his mom’s questions. 

“What is your major?”

“Music,” Mark says as politely as he can.

“What made you want to do music?”

“I find that it’s really easy for me to express myself through music. It makes me happy and it’s a way to cope with some bad things that have happened over the past few months.” 

Mark answers honestly and it feels good to talk about something that makes him happy. He’s also surprised that he opened up. He knows it’s not much information but it feels like he’s being more open than he’s been for a while. 

“It’s nice that you chose something that you love and want to do for the rest of your life,” Mrs. Lee responds with a smile on her face. 

________

After millions of questions at the dinner table, Jeno is finally ready to go.

Mark is almost relieved until he remembers he has the face the whole 20 _minute_ walk back to the dorm with Jeno. 

After they had been walking for five minutes Mark had started to forget about what happened at Jeno’s house. Jeno still looked pretty tense though. 

“You know... what happened isn’t a big deal Jeno..”

“I.. I know that,” Jeno responds in a small voice.

“Then quit being so tense!”

Jeno stops walking. Once Mark notices he stops too. 

“I am not tense! I’ll kiss you right now, Mark Lee!” Jeno says, waving his arms around as he talks. 

Mark slightly blushes and smiles.

“That’s a bit forward don’t you think, Jeno.” 

Jeno rolls his eyes and grabs Mark’s sleeve signaling him to continue walking. 

There was something between them now that wasn’t there two days ago. Mark feels happier than he did two days ago, but he’s not quite ready to admit that.


	7. Chapter 7

Jeno didn’t let go of Mark’s sleeve. After a while, he slipped his hand into Mark’s. Neither of them made eye contact, but Mark’s heart was beating a million beats per second. 

Now in front of the dorm, Jeno lifts their hands, still intertwined. He stares at them for a few seconds before he releases Mark’s hand to unlock the door. 

Mark and Jeno seemingly both decide that it’s time to sleep.

________

The next morning is Mark’s first day of a class without Jeno. Jeno doesn’t have classes until a few hours later so Mark gets up quietly, making sure not to wake up the boy. 

After slipping on his white converse, Mark heads out. 

When he gets to the class halfway across campus he has a few minutes to spare before class. He contemplates texting Jeno and decides it’s okay. If he’s still sleeping a single text won’t wake him up, right?

**hey are you awake?**

The text is left on delivered and Mark assumes he isn’t awake yet. Slipping his phone into his pocket, he looks around. No one has taken the seat next to him which slightly relieves him. 

As he’s taking his laptop out, he realizes he thought too soon. A buff guy with brown hair is walking in his direction. Mark quickly glances around to see if there’s _any_ other open seats, to his dismay, there aren’t. He’s going to be stuck with this dude. 

“Is this seat taken?” The boy asks with a surprisingly soft tone.

“No,” Mark replies, not looking at him.

The boy sits down.

“I’m Yukhei.”

“Mark.”

The rest of the class passes by way too slowly. 

After he’s dismissed, Mark checks to see if Jeno has texted back and he hasn’t. Jeno has two hours until his class starts. After Mark realizes the fact, he rushes out of the room. 

He opens the door to their dorm to see Jeno still snuggled into his blankets. Mark decides he should wake him up, he doesn’t want him to be late.

“Jeno,” Mark whispers while lightly shaking him. 

The action earns a groan from the other boy. He stirs around and slowly his eyes flutter open.

“What time is it?” Jeno asks, a slight amount of worry in his voice.

“It’s only 10:00 but I thought you’d need time to get ready.”

Jeno sits up and stretches.

“Thanks for waking me up, my alarm didn’t go off.”

“No problem,” Mark answers with a soft smile.

___________

Mark is on his laptop doing homework when Jeno gets back. 

“Hey,” Mark says when he hears the door open, not looking up.

“Hey,” Jeno responds. 

After putting his stuff down he plops down on his bed and sighs. 

“Is everything okay?” Mark asks, finally looking up. 

“Yeah. It just seems like that class will be long and stressful.” 

“I met this guy Yukhei in my English class,” Mark says. He brings up the boy, hoping it sparks more conversation.

“Oh yeah? Was he cute?” Jeno teases.

“If you’re into straight guys,” Mark laughs, “the straight practically wafted off of him.” 

“Please. I had enough straight crushes in highschool,” Jeno says, giggling.

The room goes silent after Jeno stops laughing. The only thing that can be heard is Mark tapping the keys on his keyboard.

“Mark, can I ask you a question? It’s okay if you don’t answer.”

“Sure,” Mark says. He pushes his laptop off of his lap and gives Jeno his full attention.

“What.. happened before you came here?”

There it was. Mark was anticipating this he just didn’t know when it would happen. His mom had been suspicious on move-in day and he’s sure he’d been acting weird too. 

Mark hesitates in answering. How do you properly tell someone that your boyfriend of four years died? He’s not even sure if he can use that word- _died_. But at the same time, passed away didn’t sound any better. So he words it without either of those words.

“...My boyfriend got in a car accident. He didn’t make it. We were fighting when it happened.. he was on his way to my house,” Mark says. He doesn’t want to cry. 

Jeno is silent for a few seconds before he speaks again.

“..I don’t want to be cliche but..Mark.. I am _so_ sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’ll be okay,” Mark says. He hopes that’s the truth.


	8. Chapter 8

The rest of the week goes by fast and neither Mark nor Jeno is complaining. The faster their time goes, the faster they’re out of there.

Mark is sitting on his bed working on homework when Jeno speaks.

“So... Mark... I was thinking..” Jeno starts. Mark can see how nervous he is from his hands trembling to his shaky voice. “Do you want to get dinner with me tonight?”

Now it’s Mark’s turn to be nervous. Is Jeno asking him on a date? Mark isn’t exactly _complaining_ he’s just scared of getting into a new relationship. Maybe he’s thinking too much into it. Despite him freaking out, by impulse and a fear of upsetting Jeno, he snaps out of his thoughts and blurts out a ‘yes’. 

Jeno looks up from the ground, face lighting up at Mark’s words.

“Really!?” 

Mark nods in response. He’s not sure why he’s feeling nervous, this isn’t a date, right? 

“It’s a date,” Jeno says.

Before Mark can open his mouth to respond Jeno is blabbing about having to go somewhere and is out of the door in the blink of an eye. He stays frozen for a few seconds after the other boy closes the door.

On the other side of the door Jeno is freaking out. It’s not _unusual_ for him to be the confident gay but this was _Mark_. He usually puts on a confident face in front of Mark but he’s a mess when it comes to him. He sighs and tries to figure out what he’s going to do for atleast an hour, he didn’t really have anywhere to go, he just didn’t want to give Mark time to protest it being a date. 

__________

It was two hours before the date and Mark was freaking out. Jeno didn’t tell him where they were going to get something to eat, does he wear a suit or a pullover sweater? Midway through Mark’s meltdown, Jeno returns to the dorm. 

When Mark hears the door open he freezes behind the closed bathroom door. He’s a little embarrassed, he slung his clothes everywhere while he was in panic mode and forgot Jeno had to come back to get ready too. He jumps at the knock at the door.

“Mark, why does it look like urban outfitters threw up in here?” Jeno asks with a slightly teasing tone in his voice. Mark rolls his eyes, thankfully, Jeno can’t see him. 

“You didn’t tell me _where_ we were going! I’m having a crisis! I’m literally three seconds from blackscreen snapchatting!”

“...Blackscreen snapchatting?” Jeno questions, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you know when people type out their breakdowns on snapchat with a blackscreen and post it to their story?”

“Oh,” Jeno laughs, “Will you open the door please?”

“Absolutely not.”

“If you open the door I’ll tell you where we’re going,” Jeno bribes him.

Mark hesitated for a few seconds before giving in and opening the door.

“Okay. I opened it. Where are we going?”

Jeno looks the boy up and down. His hair was a mess, the pockets of his pants were sticking out, and his shirt was halfway buttoned. 

“You look.. interesting,” Jeno says and laughs with his dumb eye smile. 

Mark threatens to close the door.

“Wait!” Jeno yells and puts his arms out to keep the door open. “We’re going to a nice restaurant. Now you know the setting so you can stop freaking out.”

He smooths Mark’s hair down and smiles.

“I’m going to get ready now. Relax, idiot.”

____________

When they arrive to the restaurant Mark is astonished. He’s been to restaurants before, but none this nice, they had a _chandelier_. 

“Jeno you really didn’t have to do this.. you could’ve taken me to McDonald’s and I wouldn’t have complained,” Mark says, still taking in the scene. 

“Shut up. I wanted to take you here,” Jeno says, admiring Mark’s features. Mark doesn’t notice, he’s too busy marveling at the chandelier. 

Once the waiter gets them seated and they order food, Mark smiles at Jeno. 

“This is so nice.. Thank you, Jeno. Really. Not just for taking me to a nice restaurant but for getting me out of my comfort zone. It seemed like after the accident I couldn’t live normally anymore, but I feel.. secure.. with you.”

For once talking about the accident doesn’t bother Mark. Jeno doesn’t flinch at the word - accident - either and it makes Mark feel good. 

“You’re welcome, Mark. You deserve to feel normal again.”

—————

“Okay, I’m just saying, Ryan and Chad would’ve been the gay power couple we deserved in high school musical!” Jeno jokingly yells.

Mark has no idea how they got on the topic of high school musical relationships.

“I thought Chad was straight..” Mark responds. 

“Definitely not, ‘I Don’t Dance’ was about questioning,” Jeno says, sticking to his argument. 

“Fine. You win. Chad and Ryan would’ve been the couple of the century, I’m convinced!”

“I knew you’d see the light sooner or later,” Jeno says dramatically and puts his hand over his heart.

“You’re such a dork,” Mark says, scrunching his nose up in fake disgust.

It takes everything in Jeno’s power to not say _but I’m your dork_. He would’ve said it but it’s just _so_ cheesy, he could never. 

————

After arguing over who payed for a good five minutes, Jeno finally wins with much reluctance from Mark. 

As they walk out the cold air blows in Mark’s face. 

“I had a really good time,” Mark says.

“Me too, we should do this more often,” Jeno responds. Mark doesn’t have to look over to know there’s a smirk on his face.

They come to a stop on the bridge on their way home. The stars are so bright tonight, it feels surreal. Mark is here, with a boy he likes, yes, _likes_. He decided he likes Jeno as they were talking through the bathroom door. It was strange, nothing in specific made Mark realize, it was just like ‘Oh! My heart is doing kick-flips’. 

Mark feels Jeno slip his hand into his. For the first time out of the many times they’ve held hands, Mark looks at Jeno. His gaze is cast across the water under the bridge, his eyes are sparkling. In that moment, all Mark can think of is how fast his heart is beating. He doesn’t want this night to end. 

Mark’s one-sided starting contest is interrupted when Jeno turns his head and meets Mark’s eyes. Before either of them can realize what they’re doing, they’re leaning in. Jeno’s lips hover over Mark’s for a few seconds and he can feel his soft breathing on his face. Their lips meet and it wasn’t the typical feeling of sparks, it was a feeling of connection that Mark hasn’t felt for three months. Mark smiles into the kiss. In that moment everything is okay. He doesn’t care about the stress of college. For a moment he _forgets_ about the accident that hasn’t left his mind for three whole _months_. 

They pull away and Jeno is flashing his maybe-not-so-dumb eye smile. 

They walk the rest of the way hand in hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAAAA!!!!! Mark and Jeno kissed wowie ! Sorry for not updating, I started school today :/


	9. Chapter 9

When Mark and Jeno get home it’s only 7:30 P.M. and neither of them have anything to do. 

“Wanna watch a movie?” Jeno asks. “I have a few with me but not as much as I have at my mom’s house.”

“What ones do you have with you?” 

Jeno pretends to clear his throat.

“I have Nemo, Beauty and the Beast, and....” 

A hint of a rosy red shade is present on Jeno’s cheeks before he says the last movie.

“...The Notebook,” He finally says.

Mark doesn’t even have to think, obviously he’s going to pick Nemo. 

“Nemo,” Mark says.

Jeno pokes out his bottom lip.

“Do you not want to watch Nemo?” Mark questions.

Jeno looks down and fidgets with his hands. 

“Lee Jeno.” Mark deadpans.

Jeno doesn’t look up and keeps messing with his hands.

“Lee Jeno! Do you want to watch _The Notebook_!?” Mark yells louder than he should have, considering they’re in a dorm. 

Jeno gives a shallow nod.

“Okay I knew you were a romantic but this is an outrage! How do you pick The Notebook over Nemo!?”

Jeno just shakes his head, grabs the movie, and puts it in their shared DVD player.

__________

Half an hour into the movie, Mark is dozing off. He tries to stay awake for Jeno’s sake, but after 5 minutes of fighting sleep he gives up. 

Jeno tenses as he feels the other’s head on his shoulder. He glances at Mark and scoffs at the sleeping boy. 

“Mark Lee, you really are tasteless,” He mumbles to himself.

Mark looks cramped in the little space he has. Jeno is sure his neck will hurt if he sleeps in that position all night. Moving as gently as he can, Jeno slides over on the bed, lays Mark’s head on his lap, and covers him up. He decides he’ll wake him up at the end. 

By the end of the movie, no one is awake to watch the credits roll. All that can be heard in the dorm room is the soft breathing of the two boys (and maybe Jeno’s snoring). 

__________

The next morning Mark is the first one to wake up. He’s a bit startled when he opens his eyes to be met with Jeno’s face right in front of his, but he doesn’t jump or yell. He smiles and traces the boy’s features as gently as he can so he doesn’t wake him up. 

Too mesmerized by Jeno’s nose, Mark doesn’t notice the other boy’s eyelids flutter open. 

“Having fun?” Jeno asks in his soft morning voice. 

Mark startles and slides awake from Jeno. He feels his face heat up from embarrassment and he’s 150% sure he’s redder than a tomato. 

Jeno notices Mark’s embarrassment and leans in to give Mark’s nose a kiss. He wants to cuddle, but he’s not sure if it’s acceptable to spoon Mark yet; they’ve barely gone on their first date. 

Mark’s cheeks grow even more red after Jeno’s soft lips pull away from his nose.

“I should get going I have things to do today!” Mark says, shooting up out of his laying position.

“Like what? Can I come with?” Jeno asks in a subtly whiny tone that Mark has grown used to. Jeno really is just a big baby. 

“I have to..” Mark hesitates to think of an activity, of course he doesn’t _actually_ have anything to do he just needs to get away from this moment for a second. Mark enjoys Jeno being loving obviously, it’s just that he _never_ knows how to respond. Lately it seems like everything Jeno does makes Mark a blushy mess. 

“I have to visit my friend Chenle,” Mark says, lying straight through his teeth.

________

Finally free, Mark closes the door and smiles behind it. Mark’s heart is fluttering and it’s a feeling he hasn’t had for a while. He’s happy. 

For the next two hours, Mark roams around the streets outside of campus. Luckily for him, the area outside campus isn’t boring at all and he manages to entertain himself for the amount of time that seems acceptable for a friendly visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m really sorry for the lack of updates & that this chapter is so short :( i’m busy with real life and i haven’t been feeling the best mentally i hope i can do and be better soon


	10. Chapter 10

When Mark returns to the dorm, Jeno is on his bed cuddled into the comforter watching Nemo.

“You’re watching Nemo without me?” Mark pouts. 

Jeno looks up and pauses the movie.

“Mark, what are we?” 

Mark freezes at the other boy’s question. He doesn’t know how to answer. Does he want a relationship with Jeno?

“...I don’t know, Jeno,” Mark responds honestly.

Jeno looks down and doesn’t say anything.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with you and the past week has been the best week of my life since the accident. I’m just... scared. It seems so soon and I don’t know if I’m ready,” Mark explains.

“Mark I know what happened was super hard for you so I won’t try to push anything on you. With that being said, I also do want you to know fully how I feel for you, so here it goes.”

Mark looks down at his dirty white converse and waits for Jeno to speak again. 

“I want to take care of you. I don’t want to see you with anyone else. Everyday I’ve spent with you is a day I treasure and cherish. From the first day I met you, I knew you would be special to me. That dumb face you make when you’re mildly annoyed and your dumb curly hair really hooked me,” Jeno says, giggling before he continues, “I want to spend the rest of college with you even if it’s not as boyfriends. I fell in love with someone broken and I want to help to fix you even if you don’t feel the same at the moment.”

Jeno finishes and only then does he realize he said _LOVE_. His eyes go wide and he opens his mouth to say something, but he’s interrupted by Mark’s voice. 

“I’m not promising I’m going to be the best boyfriend right now, Jeno Lee, but I’ll do my best to take care of you too. Maybe your eye smile isn’t as dumb as I thought it was and maybe I did think your sticky note antics were cute. Somehow in the last week you’ve healed me more than I have healed in three months, thank you Jeno” Mark says, his smile causing his nose to scrunch.

Jeno stands up faster than he means to and stumbles a little from dizziness before he runs into Mark’s arms. 

“Jeno if you don’t stop squeezing me so hard you’re going to break me instead of fix me,” Mark pushes out with the little air he can manage. 

Jeno loosens his grip on the slightly smaller boy so that he can breathe. 

“Bold of you to assume that wasn’t the plan,” Jeno responds.

“Jeno?”

“Yes, Mark Lee?” 

“Did you mean it when you said you fell in love with me?” Mark asks in a small voice.

“I think so,” Jeno answers.

They pull out of the hug and Jeno kisses Mark’s forehead.

“Boyfriends?” Jeno asks.

“Boyfriends.” Mark agrees.

**THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks markno for my life HWJSJWKW anyway, thank you for reading this everyone <3 it was my first full writing fic so i hope i did a good job ^_^


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